sleepless night.

you told me i look exhausted... I am. My night was restless I could not get the sound or the energy of the city around us out of my body.
I just wanted enough quiet to hear my breath.
And I could not.
I think I am still asleep.

clean sheets.

clean sheets, quiet mind, I was able to happily awake today...

with a to do list...

I woke with a to do list racing on my mind.
I wanted to reach out and hold you, slow down, breathe in, but I could not.
My heart was racing towards all the to do's and I was off.

our bed is home...

we are home in our bed, and though we need a new mattress and being home means being back to real life, nothing is better then waking up with you here.

mmmhhh....

my back hurts, my neck is stiff, when did you (I) start needing a new body at 30?
and the doctor already yelled at you...
uh-oh we're in trouble...

i still...

need to wash my sheets,
need to find a job, need to finish my piece, clean the litter box...

but mostly I still love you...

exhaust...

maybe I am being a bit melodramatic and self indulgent. But mental exhaustion is way more exhausting then physical exhaustion, and I am exhausted...

dirty?

I woke to the sound of you cough,
the sheets need cleaned...
my life needs scrubbed...

heavy...

woke up early and felt light and energized, woke up 45 minutes later and felt heavy and exhausted. Why does sleep do that? You too feel heavy I can see it in your eyes...

hopeful and distracted...

I am hopeful for an opportunity and totally distracted by the not knowing... So I went to bed with it on my mind, and I woke up with it on my mind... here is to hoping that hope works.

slumber...

you slumber oh so sweet... I putter away. Sometimes I like it best being alone with you still at home...

empty bed, full life...

things have been bumpy the last few months with me... but I awoke at the wee hour of 5:30 am today and I spread across the empty bed, you were on a flight back from L.A., and thought things are going to work out, smooth out, and be good...Let's hope I am right...

too alone, too early, too busy...

so lovely

you are when you sleep,
your face calm and soft... there is a little boy under the man and he only reveals himself when you sleep... I kissed him first thing this morning so he could feel my love as the man does...